Last Taste of Summer

I love summertime. And this summer was a truly special one. We spent an amazing 5 weeks in the Mediterranean with my family. K swam every day and was spoiled rotten by his grandparents. It was also the first time that I'd left him to spent 5 days alone with DH. Before I left, I never thought I would ever be able to leave K behind, but after the first day in the south of France -- living a second honeymoon -- I've decided that we should do this every summer! I think it's also good for K to know that sometimes mommy & daddy have other things going on and that he has to make his way.

My favorite shot of K. from this summer

There is a snack that K. loved having while we were with my parents. We ended up bringing back two large boxes with us to the states. It so happens that today is the last on those bars It is filled with pistachios and dried fruits -- all of which remind me of my country. I'll miss seeing K's face as be slowly munches through the whole bar. Savoring it with constant "Hmmm...Yummmms." It's a taste of summer that we'll have to recreate in the colder months (I think my parents have another box on the way for us).

"The Gift of Magi" by O. Henry

I also was reminded how lucky I am to be married to the most amazing guy on the planet (ok, at least on my planet and that's what counts!). For over 6 months, we've been exploring the possibility of moving to another state for what could be an tremendous career opportunity (and LOTS of money) for DH. From the start I wasn't thrilled about the idea of moving but I wanted DH to pursue it for the experience and possibly a way to leverage the offer at his current job. For 6 months we went back and forth (this must have been the longest interview ever). I really put my best foot forward and did everything I could do be supportive. I know he wanted this and I wanted it for him. Eventually, I broke down and told DH I couldn't move; that being out there, isolated, in a city that doesn't speak to me would make me miserable and eventually lead me to resent him. In the end, we chose our marriage (each other) over money. Our story was like this wonderful short-story by O. Henry, "The Gift of Magi." If you've never read it, please do.

Perhaps out of fear that we might be leave New York behind, we were pro-active and made the most of what our area has to offer. We had a spectacular day at the Storm Kind Art Center, which is now by far my favorite art center. K ran free, weaving through the giant sculptures. He and I went to the Children's Museum, which he really enjoyed (albeit exhausted me in the process). We went countless times to the Museum of Natural History -- it's always a joy to see him go "Woowww!" at all the life-like animals.

On a sad note, a friendship that I cherished, unravelled. For over 6 months I had noticed that things weren't the same but was willing to accept the lame excuses she was giving me. But as her silence grew longer and more pronounced, I eventually confronted her. From the conversation I discovered that the person I thought I knew and loved had only been an external layer, and that peeling things down to her core, she was actually a very insecure person. Distorting reality and facts; seeing things through a lens that can't be rationed with. Despite it all, I still miss her terribly and am saddened by the loss. But I guess people come in (and eventually go) for a reason. But summer is ending with new friendships that I've made with women who seem to have a stronger head on their shoulder. New season, new friendships. Hoping these will not disappoint me.

Tomorrow is the first day of fall, and I wanted to make the most of this Indian summer we're having this week to do something new with K. I'd never been to The Cloisters. We had this incredibly lovely morning there. The religious art was truly beautiful (that's where it stops for me). But the most stunning was the peacefulness of the courtyards. Surrounded by the gorgeous views of the Hudson, I watched K. sniff the flowers and lean over the fountains. I know he won't remember any of our cultural outings together, but I will never forget them. He is growing up so fast (he goes down the slide all by himself now) but thankfully I have pictures that I will forever cherish.

A last taste of summer, that can be lived again and again thanks to little bits of life -- a snack bar, pictures, books. Oh, I am so going to need those come winter.

Appreciation, or lack-there-of

I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't feel appreciated by her toddler. I guess after years of infertility and dedication to bring K into this world, I thought I would be blessed with the kindest, gentlest and most compliant little guy... Instead, I'm constantly bombarded with "Nooooo!", followed by lots of hitting and temper tantrums. I know, I know, it's his age, but K is an incredibly... what's the polite word for it again? Oh yes, strong-willed child. It's his way or the highway.

For instance, this morning started at 5:30am. I tried sleeping through his whines and shouts (No crying really. Just demanding that I get him. NOW!). Eventually I got him at 6:45am and got ready for the day. Today is a day when I don't have my babysitter and in my new found determination to get out of the house as much as possible during my full-time mommy day, I planned for us a fun filled adventure into the city. As I'd hoped, K took a nap and I patiently waited for him to wake up before hitting the streets. I made sure he first got some outdoor play, followed by lunch and then The Children's Museum of Manhattan. What could go wrong right?

Well, everything. He played nicely with the kids at the park. Great. But by noon it was time to go to lunch and of course, big meltdown in front of all the nannies. I don't know why I feel so embarrassed when meltdowns happen in front of other care takers. I was so hoping that one of them could give me some pointers --- come on nannies, you know this crap better than I do. Can't you see I'm an amateur?! Pretending not to hear his screams, I strolled down the street to a restaurant that I know has things K likes for lunch. And cue the temper tantrums. We weren't seated by 5 minutes when K decided that he MUST have the knives placed at our table. Then it was the salt shakers. Then wanting to eat his soup on his own without a bib. I couldn't eat my food fast enough. Raising my voice and giving him a stern "No!" was making it worse.

With the hopes that K will finally appreciate what mama had in store for him, I finally arrived at the museum. It's a children's museum, what more could he possibly want, right? Wrong! He wanted to keep doing the same activity 100 times. And my feeble attempts at trying to entice him to explore another area of the museum just led to more floor swimming on his part (Although I did consider doing the same at one point out of sheer frustration). He was having fun no doubt, but I wasn't planning on spending the entire day in there. But I remained patient until it was time to go. Needless to say, I left the place in complete frustration, after trying to coerce K to leave the Dora the Explorer room and finally get into his stroller.

When I plan a day of fun to solely make my child happy, I expect a little appreciation. No thank-yous of course, but a little cooperation would be nice. Anyone with me on this one?